Chinese New Years

What i'm doing in front of computer?
everyone busy decorating, clean up, reunion
but me?
hmm
alone sitting here
chinese new years?
not for me
althought my friends say they dont have chinese new years mood
but they still busy clean up
forget i feel alone waiting for textes
I'M LONELY!!!
this year i dont get any wishes
i know i not celebrating but i still hope someone wish me
now i know where i stand in my friends heart
i never exist before
i really feel sad and tear wanted to drop
i know my sister hate me for been special this few month
she hate me for my parent care me more
i think she will thought i purposely get my parent attention
but i not
i have hard time this few months
no matter facing friends or family
i know my family blaming me bring hard time for them
i bring shame to them even my friend think so
SORRY!
my fault my mistake
i bring shame to you guys
even ask them bring me out they also giving nonsense reason
i'm hurt
but i still have to be strong smile that i don't care
hope after this wind and rain there will be rainbow for me
Happy Chinese New Year, friends and family
hope you guys happy always

Dear friends~

Dear Friend,

I really feel disappointed right now

at first i thought is my attitude been wrong to you guy i try to change

once i change nothing bring different

i always thought you guys gotta be special to me

but i still wrong

when you guys need me

immediately text me call me

if i break promise you guys scold me, mad me

what about the promise you guys make to me

never let me alone

now even the one i trust the most also the same

that day yet scold me i'm annoying

sorry then i wont disturb you forever

happy?

today is the third day

i see how much you care

say myself will appear after i gone

let see how appear

who need who the most

need me then find me

i keep on giving never ask to return

now i really tired

i tired of serving people that not appreciate what i done

last time i wont mind wont care

but is already too much

every time cheat me i keep silent don't want to ashame you off

but i never never lie to you

is you the one who not believe

then let it be

i owe you?

wanna count who owe who

i think you guys owe me more

needed help i will be there

i needed someone there sure be reason

now your 'good friends' are holiday

then you don't need me

alright then

i gotta leave soon

i gotta leave without left you guys anything

GOODBYE and SO LONG SUCKER!