stituations~

after all this while

over and over again

i tried to smile

i release all my stress

paste every hurt with best paster

but yet it still there

scar remain

without realise

time passed by

result was out

everyone nervous

just a half hour result release

everyone texting each other

but me

only one text

only one

friend?

gone away

my standing in their heart is different

others might say why don't i ask

but who

who can i ask

yet my result is disappointing myself

this holiday

having so much trip and outing

yet keep on been isolated

i try to join

but been reject

i try to talk

but been ignore

why my holiday passed so miserable

funny thing

i argued with buddy in a trip

i done a crime with buddy in a trip

but i totally forget about the crime did happen

a trip can show friend their real self

so cruel

so cold

caring warm friend was totally gone

who are true and who are not

is hardly to define

what is the meaning of friend?

what is the meaning of honest?

anyone can define it?

stay within our self is selfish?

responsible?

who is responsible of broken heart?

question mark everywhere

just like the clown acting

smile bring happiness

SMILE TILL EVERYTHING IS FORGET STARNE~

trust~

Every time i'm texting or calling my friends i will ask something suspiciously to them or even asked for dozen of time. Without any doubt anyone who heard it or saw it will say "Don't you believe your own friend?". Honestly, I don't. Why should i? Tell me one reason to blindly trusting anyone. And my attitude is nothing to do with my friends. Just look at all those who have been suffered from being cheated upon. What do they say? They will say thing like this: "i can't believe they would do this to me. I believe them so much". But to me is totally silly people put so much heart to a little word. They would say "They would never hurt me. I just know. I trusted them". And i think. So what if you don't? Is it a bad thing? Is that supposed to be insult on their character? Is they supposed to be angry? There totally nothing to be angry about what. Everyone need to safeguard their self-interests. You say you trust someone. To what extent do you do that? Do you give them your bank password? Properly not. Nobody trust anyone that much, unless they are completely naive. As for me, I trusted that my friend will never choose dark heart over pure heart. Because they hates dark heart and these thing will never change. I will to put RM1,000 to bet on it but properly not my whole fortune. I trusted not 100% but maybe 95%. Trust is such a funny thing. People always say it needs to be earned, it needs to be built. After some time of interacting with something, certain thing can be depended on. Like i trust my doctor will heal me in any situation it is and he never failed to do it in this few years. I trusted my dairy milk will taste the same as it has always tasted. Over the period, i have been friend with them, outing together, sleep in the same room, chit chat whole night long, doing something totally crime. Yet i don't trust them would never cheat on me. Why? First: People change. Today they madly in love with you. Tomorrow he is bored. The next day he bored and drunk. The day after that he bored, drunk, horny and had a fight with you.Who know? The only things you can depend on is. People change with time. Even if their personalities remain identical, their feeling to you might change. Second: Circumstances change. Sure, in this period he never found a friend that can replaced me. Tomorrow. Who knows? If they meets and gets to know 1.000,000 people, there has got to be one who is better than me, no matter how much he cares me. Right? Third: Consequences is bigger. And this is the best reason not to totally trust your friends will not stray. CONSEQUENCES. It is easy to trust if consequences are small. I pay RM4 for my usual laksa stall because i trust it will be yummy as always. Not yummy no big deal, i'd buy from other stall. Net loss RM4 and some time. But if i believe my friends will never stray, when they does, i gonna damnly broken. You shaking your head, thinking "You dumb head, even if you don't trust, either way you're broken, if it happens it happens". You are wrong. Sure, i'd still be heartbroken. But wait. Prevention is better then cure. When you suspicious, won't it just piss then off? But if they has nothing to hide, they would not get angry. Cheating is just like a cancer, you want to win it, you've got find it out early. Some of you might be saying "why work so hard to prevent that seems unavoidable? If they cheats, they wont be worth it anyway. Stupid! All human cheat if there no consequences. I sincerely believe that. Some don't because they don't wanna hurt us. Some because they scare losing us. Some because social ramifications, anything. Most commonly of all, human cheat because they make mistake, thinking they wont be caught. And when you blindly trust, that's when they are the most certain they will never get caught. I'm sure a lot of you don't agree with my school thought, saying "You must be all sad, panariod and worrisome all the time. That's not how life is suppose to be like. I pity your friends." Don't worry. Me and my friends having our happy moment together. Obviously i *do* trust them because they are good with principles. But just not enough to fully believe they will never cheat and not do my best to try to prevent it from happening. If one day comes and they stray, i'd say "Oh well at least i tired my best. And at least i not duped for ages." What do you think? Do you trust fully your friend? Those of you got cheated on, did you trust them? Do you still trust them now?

L-O-V-E

Spread the love

out there dozen of people need it

F-R-I-E-N-D

i really not understand

why seem like you avoid me

you don wan to text me then let me know

don make me wait

waiting is not good at all

specially when i have problem

sometime i really need you

you don have to lie to me

i knew everything

you don wan to friend with me

i accept it

i wont disturb you anymore

you know my keep tear is flowing because of you

you know i need someone

but there noone there for me

my family not there

friend include you not there

you say you will repair our friendship

but seem like i just work it alone

i really wanna to quit

i really tired

i pray this wonted happen

but seem slowly it happen

with me you always have a lot excuses to go home early

but others you stay till the end

how do expect you i don think to much

seem that i totally been replaced

i thought we could be friend till the end

you keep on asking will i fall for you

i never even dare to think bout it

i don wan to affect our friendship

you know friendship is the most important thing to me

all i need just spend some time with me

just some

this few day really a big pressure to me

everyone seem isolated me

exam pressure

family pressure

now add another

friend pressure

the most breaking my heart is friend

why this keep happen to me

did i did something wrong?

can anyone out there tell me?

what i done wrong?

i don know will you see this post

but i really wanna tell you that

i really need you as my friend but please don isolated me

please don forget me

i really need you around me right now

i don have much time

just accompany me texting or talk with me

i wont affect your relationship with her

i just need a friend

is that wrong?

i just want a honest you

i didn't mean to complain anything to you

but i trust then i tell you

but why i feel that you don believe me

you believe others more

i don want to make anyone feel bad

is that hard to have a friend?

i never got anyone before

i just want a friend

a friend

why everyone got a best friend stand there for them

but me

only a have a short period friendship

i need medicine~

i need a medic

a special medic

that can heal

my lonely

my insane

my smile

my tear

my stupid

eww

too much to heal

everyone is change

i also wanna change

the only thing i still thinking

i should to change to good or bad

or even heartless

i need a medic

any doctor out there can give me?

please~~

i really need it~

* don't i have a bunches of medicine to take? what still i need?

out of control~

Eww

i totally out of the game

hmm

or maybe i should say i quit

i cant stand to argue with anyone anymore

further more

i have my psychology exam is on

why i take up that

i also dont know what am i doing for the timing

everything is confusing me this few day

i stop doing my daily stuff

what am i thinking

suddenly thinking wanna stop everything

all i want is a bed

and have a really really nice nap

stop having weird dream

is damnly tired

if i sleep

dream will pop up with weird stuff happen

is my brain gone crazy too?

if not i will not sleep

eww

suddenly i miss someone

and suddenly i hate that person

i feel like i totally out of control

IS REALLY TOTALLY CRAZY!!

nothing~

see

what i have done

i make myself totally nothing~

cry for two days

cant sleep for two days

make myself smile in front of everyone

what for?

she didnt even keep her promise

make my friends mad include best friends

is totally a idiot

i totally stupid

totally silly

now i have no friend

only me myself

what for~

STUPID

oh God~

what should i do??

i just totally stupid

i really have nothing now

include HIM!!