Chinese New Years

What i'm doing in front of computer?
everyone busy decorating, clean up, reunion
but me?
hmm
alone sitting here
chinese new years?
not for me
althought my friends say they dont have chinese new years mood
but they still busy clean up
forget i feel alone waiting for textes
I'M LONELY!!!
this year i dont get any wishes
i know i not celebrating but i still hope someone wish me
now i know where i stand in my friends heart
i never exist before
i really feel sad and tear wanted to drop
i know my sister hate me for been special this few month
she hate me for my parent care me more
i think she will thought i purposely get my parent attention
but i not
i have hard time this few months
no matter facing friends or family
i know my family blaming me bring hard time for them
i bring shame to them even my friend think so
SORRY!
my fault my mistake
i bring shame to you guys
even ask them bring me out they also giving nonsense reason
i'm hurt
but i still have to be strong smile that i don't care
hope after this wind and rain there will be rainbow for me
Happy Chinese New Year, friends and family
hope you guys happy always

Dear friends~

Dear Friend,

I really feel disappointed right now

at first i thought is my attitude been wrong to you guy i try to change

once i change nothing bring different

i always thought you guys gotta be special to me

but i still wrong

when you guys need me

immediately text me call me

if i break promise you guys scold me, mad me

what about the promise you guys make to me

never let me alone

now even the one i trust the most also the same

that day yet scold me i'm annoying

sorry then i wont disturb you forever

happy?

today is the third day

i see how much you care

say myself will appear after i gone

let see how appear

who need who the most

need me then find me

i keep on giving never ask to return

now i really tired

i tired of serving people that not appreciate what i done

last time i wont mind wont care

but is already too much

every time cheat me i keep silent don't want to ashame you off

but i never never lie to you

is you the one who not believe

then let it be

i owe you?

wanna count who owe who

i think you guys owe me more

needed help i will be there

i needed someone there sure be reason

now your 'good friends' are holiday

then you don't need me

alright then

i gotta leave soon

i gotta leave without left you guys anything

GOODBYE and SO LONG SUCKER!

Birthday~

i thought this year birthday gotta be different

but

most or least the same

nothing special

no surprise

no cake

no celebration

no present

no birthday song

no wishes

what sad birthday

when back home

open a pudding

put a candle

and

sing a birthday song to myself

i didn't expect much

i just want to have a normal birthday like others do

surround with friends and family

but nobody seem understand

nevermine

at least i still here

still here

Happy Birthday to Me!

Christmas~

hmm~
hmm~
my christmas this year still the same
giving present time
giving is the best thing i can do
but i still feel lonely
didn't expect so much
but at least i can give
i relook at my list
wow
a lot of my friend is missing in flash
come and go
come and go
but i still like giving them a warm love present from me
just hope them have a happy chrismas and holiday
the only thing i wish for christmas this year is
i have a bunch of truth friends
i love to have friends a around me
Amen

"Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday, Friends"

i miss~

hmm~
what can i say this day
my life for now is totally different
where my friends go?
lefted me alone here
every time heard bout their outing, party
what bout me?
why missing me out?
i'm free
i'm available
why no me in the list
i miss those crazy day
i miss all of us fooling around
i miss our sleep over
i miss the way we chat
i miss every thing.
i miss every single moment we together!!

end of november~

wow

is the last day of november

hmm

i think this month i didn't updated my blog

seem a bit too busy with

study

emotional

family

friend

him

what a month

too much thing to do

too much thing to think

too much thing to say

now everyone should be busy revising just like the bee

beez here beez there

seem like too much too learn but

main thing is

we love last min studying

dont know why

keep on feeling been lefted out

this month

the number of outing?

can be count

twice?

with buddy

once is walk walk with no direction

another once is thankgiving day

short outing

others?

shop, house, bookstore and library

just few min will do

no matter what

family is still a headache stuff

specially this month

new member gotta enter soon

that the most shocking news

but yet still have to face it

AHH!

where all my friend gone

they seem have new one forget the old one

didnt find them they complaining here and there

gossiping here and there

find them say we are 'FAN'

dont bother to reply us

hmm

headache again

my standing in their heart

PROVEN

left confirmation letter only

i have decided to give up on him

confession?

totally OUT!

is not way i wanted

but to let go

hard

trying

totally stupid

from beginning just friend till the end also friend

he keep on giving me hint

is totally hurt la idiot

so is the last day of November

what can i say

a lot thing to remember

friendship day, purse without money, etc

from 11th to the end

up and down

left and right

next month of this day i will officially 21

i know same routine

no friend no family celebration

i think alone again

is already been 21years like this

nevermine

i already use to it

end of october~

Well~

is officially the last day of October

and also Halloween night

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

what i gotta do with my decision for next sem

AHH!

i still confuse

haih~

i still messy up with my buddy

AHH!

too many thing to think for the timing

i feel stresssssssssssssssssss~