end of october~

Well~

is officially the last day of October

and also Halloween night

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

what i gotta do with my decision for next sem

AHH!

i still confuse

haih~

i still messy up with my buddy

AHH!

too many thing to think for the timing

i feel stresssssssssssssssssss~

next sem~

what i gotta do next sem

kuala lumpur?

singapore?

kuching?

no way?

every friend have their plan

but me

no idea

till now i still thinking but no idea pop up

what gotta do next?

full study?

half study half work?

full work?

AHHHH!

brainstorming

who can tell me??

headache!!

EMOING~

all i need~

What happen?

keeping feel so damn down

i wanted talk to him

but why i feel a distance between him

he not longer need me?

might i just a tool for him?

i try to smile in front of him but i cant

we didn't share problem together anymore

all talk is about business

from that day start

the gap is bigger and bigger

he keeping ask is i' unhappy because of he inefficiency

is totally not about that

is about the way he behave

i just need a friend a shoulder to lay on

not a perfect business partner

but seem he doesn't understand at all

LALALALALALA~

Lalalalalalalala

everyone seem forget me again

make me happy and throw me away again

every word come out from his mouth just to gain my trust

i say i wont trust anyone fully

yesterday just prove another hidden object from me

i not expect he tell me everything

but just info me

at least i wont feel been fool

when i get mad

he never did wanted to explain

just make everything seem like my fault

but when i make him mad he wanted me to explain

friend still friend

that what i know

there still boundaries

cant just forget about the boundaries

i thought friend can share everything

no manner is ashamed news, good or bad

wanted me to tell him everything?

please help me tell him

tell me and trust me 1st then i will trust you back

now i try stay distance from you and see how much you care about me

two day is tell me something

today will be the 3th day

i don't have friend so what?

don't use that to make me hurt and try to make you stay

i'm heartless now!

totally heartless!

i been hurt by you so much then other do.

mean i trust you more than other do but you step on my trust

so please don't hurt me again and again!

waht can i do?

Again

been leave alone

what to do? *thinking*

keep on hoping the phone will ring

but never never did

who can i find to talk to?

pressing the keypad wondering it will it ring?

i have friends

should i find them?

but every time i the one who started the conversation

tired~

don't i have any space in their heart?

it's already 2 months i didn't have any outing activities

all the place i go is

house, shop, school

others? NO~

FAMILY?

all is crazy for work

money money money

only care their own

they go out is enough who care what i think

feel my life really meaningless

LET GO?

there nothing for me to let go anymore

friends?

family?

everything i let go

and leave me all alone

already one week suddenly tear drop because of loneliness

keep on moody whole day

anyone talking to me just feel wanna scold them

and shout all my feeling out

yet i control

what am i thinking?

tell friends and get them pity?

who care?

last time i thought there buddy will care

but he only will care will i XX

he say he care

but important part he keep on asking me will i?

will i?

from beginning till the end

asking and tell me the same thing all over again and again

what can i do with my life?

can i just run into middle of the road and end up it?

can i just walk away from this place and have a new start?

WHAT CAN I DO?

HURT~

everything should stop?

from the day we started is already so so wrong

he keep on pushing me away

i can feel it

i trying to let go

but

please don't pull me back and push me back

it's hurt

the scar forever remain there

let me breath

stop making fun of me

Today~

What a interesting day to go on

actually i have to wake up early today

but

i doesn't want to

because i waited for my buddy message

wondering will he text me up

waited and waited

the 1st message i receive from that vege friend

every morning will text me once to say good morning to me

that sure be nice if my buddy text me every morning with that greeting

no hope for it just wondering

around 11.30am then he text me

mad about he just ask me to check foreign exchange rate for him

a good morning also no

MAD!!

every time like that

'can you this? can you that?'

nothing least

hmps~

tell he about that then been blame back

WHAT THE!

shorten my life make me totally down

feel like wanna bite him off

then i went to my shop

then my brother told me he wanna go and have a hair cut

let him go then since there is no one to serve for the timing

he just go out for that few minutes

pop~

the customer keep on coming and coming

till i have no time to serve

everything i done it alone

luckily my little brother able help me a bit

less my burden

thanks GOD~

around 2 o'clock

a red shirt come to my shop wanna order a iced milo take away

that time only left two table of customer

he notice a bag lefted near to a chair

he started wanna open it up

i a bit worry and asked my brother to take it from he and put a aside

the he walk way

the second time he come in and wanna add on another iced milo

AHH~

a customer shout

WHAT THE!

snatching bag happen in my shop

my heart beat really fast

what should i do, oh God

some helped to chase but the thief using motorcycle

how to chase?

oh my~

i call 999

then the police tell me, they will come in and check

but waited for half and hour

didn't even show up

STUPID!

so the customer decide to report by themself

feel so sorry for them

i really feel helpless

i can't even do anything for them

God do bless them, lend them a hand

the most mad is the police

around 4 o'clock my daddy come back

i told him about the case

my daddy say tomorrow gotta complaint to the tourism department

the buddy call me up

asking me to go out

alright then

forgive him 1st

always me forgive him

my mummy and sister coming back too that time

yet my sister went out again

then my mummy went to massage with aunty christina, her best friend

lefted my daddy alone

then follow buddy again

doing crime

the funny thing is the mice scare both of us up

bad mice

then buddy started play with fire

as my house fuse is broken till now not repair

still scare me with fire

he know i totally afraid of fire and dark

still scare me

make me cry

bad him!

then i went back to the shop

EH!

why the shop close?

saw my little at opposite of the temple

ask him why

EWW~

my daddy get angry and close the shop cause he still have job to do

why don't he call?

hmm~

always like to mad

don't care

open up the shop again

then customer started to come again

busy and busy

luckily buddy accompany me message

if not i been lefted alone again

i always been lefted alone

ALONE~

hate that word

around 7.15pm then the police come

EXCUSE ME~

mr policeman

what time now?

really really not efficient at all

the thief is already enjoying their meal

HAIH~

speechless

this is so call policeman

yet

i still have to thank giving for everything

THANK GOD~

stay strong and healthy

STARNE!