Doom~

i really doom this time

totally doom

the one who excited about my come back

mad at me

because i'm stupid?

keep on forgetting things

i'm sorry

but he just wouldn't listen

he don't want talk to me

even a text also i didn't receive

this time come back

my whole mind just thinking about him

there no others thing

but how i gotta tell him this?

i coming home~

hmm

officially end of chinese new year

and i'm back

i been trap in white house for 2 weeks

because of my foolish, stubborn

make myself end up here

i looked back all the news, the update, the email i missed

everyone posting about

how happy they are in this dragon year

make me so so envy

ops~

tear started to drop again

early morning

taking out mp3

sitting down in plane silently

i coming home

but sooner i gotta leave again

leave to pursue my study

2 weeks in white house

i cried, i missed

everything pass through my mind like slide show

thinking

should i gather all my friend and tell them i gotta leave

but this few month not even one come approach me

asked where i have been

sad case

nevermine

i don't need then i can live happily alone and find others friend to talk to

this day

at least someone there

excited about i'm back

i don't know i should happy or not

hmm

life~ life~

why i never have a friend that forever?

why everytime they will walk out from my life?

hmm

might is the fact of life

my destiny

i will change that

today i will smiling meet that person

that person i loved before

if you ask me do i still like him?

i will not answer you this

the answer will forever hidden in the deepest place of my heart

hmm

let face it positively

thanks for everything

i gotta start new life soon

Goodbye old life

Welcome new life

=)

Chinese New Years

What i'm doing in front of computer?
everyone busy decorating, clean up, reunion
but me?
hmm
alone sitting here
chinese new years?
not for me
althought my friends say they dont have chinese new years mood
but they still busy clean up
forget i feel alone waiting for textes
I'M LONELY!!!
this year i dont get any wishes
i know i not celebrating but i still hope someone wish me
now i know where i stand in my friends heart
i never exist before
i really feel sad and tear wanted to drop
i know my sister hate me for been special this few month
she hate me for my parent care me more
i think she will thought i purposely get my parent attention
but i not
i have hard time this few months
no matter facing friends or family
i know my family blaming me bring hard time for them
i bring shame to them even my friend think so
SORRY!
my fault my mistake
i bring shame to you guys
even ask them bring me out they also giving nonsense reason
i'm hurt
but i still have to be strong smile that i don't care
hope after this wind and rain there will be rainbow for me
Happy Chinese New Year, friends and family
hope you guys happy always

Dear friends~

Dear Friend,

I really feel disappointed right now

at first i thought is my attitude been wrong to you guy i try to change

once i change nothing bring different

i always thought you guys gotta be special to me

but i still wrong

when you guys need me

immediately text me call me

if i break promise you guys scold me, mad me

what about the promise you guys make to me

never let me alone

now even the one i trust the most also the same

that day yet scold me i'm annoying

sorry then i wont disturb you forever

happy?

today is the third day

i see how much you care

say myself will appear after i gone

let see how appear

who need who the most

need me then find me

i keep on giving never ask to return

now i really tired

i tired of serving people that not appreciate what i done

last time i wont mind wont care

but is already too much

every time cheat me i keep silent don't want to ashame you off

but i never never lie to you

is you the one who not believe

then let it be

i owe you?

wanna count who owe who

i think you guys owe me more

needed help i will be there

i needed someone there sure be reason

now your 'good friends' are holiday

then you don't need me

alright then

i gotta leave soon

i gotta leave without left you guys anything

GOODBYE and SO LONG SUCKER!

Birthday~

i thought this year birthday gotta be different

but

most or least the same

nothing special

no surprise

no cake

no celebration

no present

no birthday song

no wishes

what sad birthday

when back home

open a pudding

put a candle

and

sing a birthday song to myself

i didn't expect much

i just want to have a normal birthday like others do

surround with friends and family

but nobody seem understand

nevermine

at least i still here

still here

Happy Birthday to Me!

Christmas~

hmm~
hmm~
my christmas this year still the same
giving present time
giving is the best thing i can do
but i still feel lonely
didn't expect so much
but at least i can give
i relook at my list
wow
a lot of my friend is missing in flash
come and go
come and go
but i still like giving them a warm love present from me
just hope them have a happy chrismas and holiday
the only thing i wish for christmas this year is
i have a bunch of truth friends
i love to have friends a around me
Amen

"Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday, Friends"

i miss~

hmm~
what can i say this day
my life for now is totally different
where my friends go?
lefted me alone here
every time heard bout their outing, party
what bout me?
why missing me out?
i'm free
i'm available
why no me in the list
i miss those crazy day
i miss all of us fooling around
i miss our sleep over
i miss the way we chat
i miss every thing.
i miss every single moment we together!!